Monday, August 20, 2012

Deployment Anxiety and Running

I relaxed this past weekend. Yep, the whole weekend. I did not run at all.
I lounged in a hammock, hung out with one of my best friends and my family. And I read my Bible and journaled.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." Psalm 62:5

These past couple weeks have been the most stressful weeks of the whole deployment for me. I've had more anxiety issues than I've ever had before. In the beginning of the deployment, I was sad and lonely because of the separation. Now, I can usually cope with the separation issue, but the danger factor is downright terrifying. I can't really tell you exactly why it's been more stressful lately (OPSEC) but my husband is in the infantry.. it goes without saying that it's a very dangerous job.

I think that running has helped with the anxiety, but the anxiety has not helped my running performance. It's definitely not a mutually beneficial relationship. There's been a couple times that I've felt down enough to think "should I just not do this marathon and quit now?" Well, of course I won't. I really need something of my own to keep myself busy and power through this last part of the deployment. We're almost 3/4 of the way there.

I can't tell you how relieving it is to me that it's started to feel cooler, even if it seems a bit early for that. Caribou even has their pumpkin stuff now. I've never been more excited for Fall. One more season to go.

<3 A.

2 comments:

  1. We are facing our first deployment in the next few months. I don't really know how I will deal with the anxiety about whether or not he is safe. My husband is also infantry. I have dealt with distance, but never the constant fear of him getting hurt.

    I will be thinking about you =)

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  2. Running was definitely my sanity saver during the deployment. After my marathon in April, there was a big gap of time before my husband's deployment ended in June. Those were the hardest most stressful months for me. I wasn't running as much and I was way more paranoid.

    I hope you find a way to curb your anxiety. I know it's the worst. Sending you good vibes!*

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