After he signed off, I cried. Pretty hard. I had been doing pretty good these last couple weeks and then seeing him, I fell apart. It makes me wonder about that phrase "out of sight, out of mind." Maybe not seeing him lately and just IMing was helping the time go by faster. I get reassurance that he's okay, but I don't see him. Not that I don't want to see him, of course. I can't even express how happy I was to first see his face. But it does make me think a little. Emotionally, deployments are a hard ride and I'm still trying to figure out the healthiest mindset for getting through them.
My favorite word lately is endure. It's quite the motivational word, especially for a distance runner and Army wife. The Bible uses the phrase over and over "his love endures forever." Since I've been quite fascinated with the word lately, I decided to put it into dictionary.com.
verb (used with object)
to hold out against; sustain without impairment or yielding;undergo: to endure great financial pressures with equanimity.
to bear without resistance or with patience; tolerate: I cannot endure your insults any longer.
to admit of; allow; bear: His poetry is such that it will not endure a superficial reading.
verb (used without object)
to continue to exist; last: These words will endure as long aspeople live who love freedom.
to support adverse force or influence of any kind; suffer without yielding; suffer patiently: Even in the darkest ages humanity has endured.
to have or gain continued or lasting acknowledgment or recognition, as of worth, merit or greatness: His plays have endured for more than three centuries.
Then I thought back to the verse. "His love endures forever." Pretty much all of these definitions describe God's enduring love for us. As Christians, we're called to daily try to imitate Christ. The phrase that stuck out to me is "suffer patiently." Sometimes I feel like I'm enduring the deployment by suffering it very impatiently.
But we endure something that hard because it's something that's worth enduring.
I mentioned before that if I were to get a tattoo, it would be a bird tattoo. Well, I've changed my mind now. At this point, I would be sick of the bird tattoo (a good reason why I shouldn't get a tattoo to begin with) and now I would want to tattoo "endure" on my foot. Of course, I still wrote on my foot with a pen to see what it would look like. Because I'm a dork like that.
But instead of actually getting the tattoo, I found this really cool necklace on Etsy.
What do you think? Even though you would probably never ever give up Skype, do you think it's possible that it can make you miss your soldier more?